Baby Lilly Birth Story

Introducing

 Lilly Emma 

All 7lbs 14 oz of her at 19.5 inches long 

Birth Story

I was having irregular contractions when I checked into the hospital for induction at 9am a few days after my due date.  I was also dilated to a 4. Given that I had been dilated at some stage for over 3.5 weeks that wasn't all that surprising. I don't know all the particulars of why but I had this same situation with Ava where I just sort of stalled and couldn't keep anything consistent going to deliver on my own. I was given Pitocin and I went to about a 6 over the course of the morning. I didn't feel any different and the nurse mentioned to me that if "I wasn't in pain maybe I didn't need the epidural" ... umm ... what?!? Yeah, about five minutes after that I requested it ;)

So apparently the Anesthesiologist that gave it didn't administer enough for my height and by the time the nurse got another Anesthesiologist called I was having Lilly. So, yes that is right, I had some version of natural child birth! In 20 minutes I went from a 7 to holding my baby. My Doctor ran in just as I was grabbing the side of the bed thinking how "TV labor" I must have started looking. I didn't realize that Lilly was crowning but the nurse must have because I heard my Doctor ask her if he could pee (yes really) and she said "not if you want to deliver this baby." Then about 4 minutes and three pushes later I was holding an almost 8lb little girl. Amazing. Just as amazing as the first time.Maybe even more so because I was more awake and I did have a bit of a rush coming off of that insane sensation.

Lilly looks a bit chubbier in the cheeks than Ava but not 1lb 5oz heavier - I guess that isn't that much in the big scheme of things but I was surprised because I was so much smaller this pregnancy.

Lilly came so fast that I had some tearing because there wasn't time to prevent it or do a small episiotomy. Thankfully the epidural did kick in by the stitching! So there has been a little more difficulty this time along with the typical difficulties caused by expelling a human. I always wish after labor you didn't have so much pain because it can be a little distracting from enjoying your baby. Lilly is the best baby ever created she never cries, she eats one time at night, and sleeps 22 hours a day...right! She might awaken from this perfection but she has given me a wonderful week and I am so grateful for that. I look forward to her tiny meows in the night right before it is time to eat. (Like I said no crying, even for food.) And most of the day I just hold her while she is sleeping trying to soak it all in. Big sister is going to school still for her three days so I am getting some time with just Lilly which is great and then when Ava is home my husband is around as well so I can spend some time with just Ava. I don't think so far anyone feels displaced or jealous and I am really lucky that we have a little routine worked out where it will be several weeks before I will be taking care of both of them at the same time alone. 

Here is me being really silly - this is for my friend Michelle - we love pictures like this of women in labor ;) I think the sunlight adds dramatic effect. I also like how clinical the room looks but how 'home birth' I am looking...

The husband during labor - I think the man recliner in the delivery room is funny. As in can someone bring him some beer and turn some football on please! 

More labor - ya know before the crazy part. 

And after the crazy part - me and Lilly. Can I just say my baby girls are born cute!

The whole family. Apparently Ava totally did get that we were having a real baby and she ran in just like she had been expecting Lilly all along! So proud!

This is still the face she makes when holding Lilly 6 days later. 

Labor makes my husband very sleepy ;)

And it makes me make silly photo faces. Life is pretty great. 

Is there a medicine for slowing growth? Everyday I feel a little nervous about how fast it is all going to end. My 27 month old is going on 16!
So, dearest Lilly can we drag this whole baby thing out as long as possible?
Thanks. Mom

waiting...39.5 weeks!

Just a little update here ... just waiting ... due on Monday. No sign of anything impending. Still going into work making everyone a little nervous ;) Had an amazing experience today getting a prenatal massage. Everyone should have one a few days before their due date. It was a really cool experience how responsive Lilly was and how connected I felt to her. I have small babies and easy pregnancies and therefore don't really think that often about having a child inside me. So it was new to have this very spiritual experience today ... made me think maybe I can hold out a little longer. O.K. well maybe not really ;)

photo - Over this past weekend hanging out downtown. I know I wish I had those Naartjie boots too!

 p.s. please don't put your $1 store ice mold in the microwave to melt your pumpkin crayons...it isn't going to end well... 

 

How to Choose a Great Daycare

I have been meaning to write this post for a long time! Here is my background on this topic: First, I have a history of working with children in both childcare and public schools. Second, my toddler has been in daycare three days a week since she was about 2.5 months old and has attended FOUR daycares and had a nanny for a short time.

Daycare #1 - Closed. Was very good and I am sure we would still be there.
Daycare #2 - We lasted just a couple of weeks while the inexperienced new owners broke just about every safety rule and parent interaction rule in the book.
Nanny - We had a nanny for about a month while we were searching for the perfect new daycare. I interviewed 10 centers during this time period.
Daycare #3 - Ava was bitten so many times to type it out here would be embarrasing. It was an extremely popular local daycare too. Finally, we just couldn't get control over the biting and had to remove her.
Daycare #4 - We currently attend. We are happy with it for the most part - even though leaving your child with others is hard and you have to make comprimises even in the good situations.

So here are my tips of things to look for when picking the right daycare (besides of course trusting your 'gut') :

1. Low staff turnover. Ask specifically how long the teachers have been there in each class. Don't accept a general answer and ask about several or all classes.
2. Ability to monitor your child. I believe whether they are online or not childcare facilities should have cameras in each classroom and on the playground. Daycare #1 had online cameras and Daycare #4 has a viewing room where you can see what is going on in your child's class. Ultimately reviewing a tape can solve all kinds of problems and misunderstandings.
3. Clean, fresh spaces with new toys. If a daycare is full of old toys, carpeting and needs painting and repairs then they are not putting regular money back into the center and that is a huge red flag. Even as you attend you should notice constant updates and new gear going into the classrooms. Daycare #4 installed a very expensive splash pad on the playground this summer for example.
4. Positive interaction with the oldest children. How a center cares for the oldest children on campus is a good indicator of their overall attitude toward childcare. If you notice in the late afternoon the 4-year-old children are all sent to a blazing playground with caregivers that sit and chat or they are parked in front of a TV each day that isn't a good sign. I have noticed a lot of caregivers use very harsh tones or raised voices with the oldest children in the center.
5. Curriculum and an appropriate daily schedule for every age classroom. Ask to see the curriculum used in each classroom and to see examples of the activities done that support the curriculum. Unfortunately, I have always felt like the activities I do at home with Ava are far more suited to her abilities and interests than the 'curriculum' (aka crafts) that she has followed at school. However, there should still be a strong curriculum that is followed. Check the class schedules when you are interviewing and see if they are following them.
6. Absolute, 100% adherance to child / teacher ratio. Understand your state's laws regarding child / teacher ratio. A classroom should never be out of ratio even for a teacher to go to the restroom. If there isn't back-up to relieve teachers during lunch, for bathroom trips and at the start and end of each day then there is a problem. The center director AND owner need to strongly believe in this. Just think about it - how can even for five minutes one person safely manage 8 infants or 12 one year olds alone? They CAN NOT.
7. There should be a strong end and start to the day. Visit the center right when it opens and right after most of the children are picked up. These are the most stressful and often mis-managed times of the day.
8. Clean noses and faces. If a center's caregivers are not noticing snotty noses or dirty faces and hands then they are not noticing many other less obvious things like rashes, illness, emotional distress or even being hurt.
9. An agressive 'biting' policy. Ask for specific examples of how it is enforced and there should be stories shared of children being asked to leave. This is a very sensitive subject for me. I have even noticed that centers often ignore their policies for certain children and enforce them for others. Kids bite - they may or may not bite your child and your child may or may not bite other children. No matter what your situation is though biting can be controlled.
10. A good and clear owner / director relationship. This is hard to do before attending but try really hard to figure out the dynamic between the center owner and the director. I personally prefer a center owner that is also the center director but as child care centers become larger and more successful most owners hire a director to take on many of the day to day responsibilities. There needs to be though at the end of the day one person that is absolutely has the final say that you can go to for guidance and to help solve problems.

Once Your Child is Enrolled:

1. Request in writing to be called each time your child is bitten or they have an injury that breaks the skin. This shouldn't be a problem, even though at our current center, #4, we have had several times where we have not been called even after making this request.
2. Request to be informed on your child's daily report if they are put in time out, for how long and what for. If for no other reason than to be supportive at home of the rules at school that you might not be aware of. You also want to be aware of your child's dynamics with other children. For example, a child who is an angel at home might be more likely to join in the 'fun' of being disobedient around a group of children.
3. Make time each day to chat with your child's caregivers. Just asking how your child did that day isn't enough - you will almost alway be told that they did well. The really intimate details of your child's day won't come up unless you have forged a personal relationship with each of your child's caregivers. When Ava was an infant I would often feed her in the classroom when I picked her up and spend that time talking with her teachers and watching them interact with the other parents.
4. When things go very wrong (and they occasionally will) you should always find a supportive ear. I learned this the hard way - if your child's teacher or the center director gets a defensive tone with you when you address a problem, especially a problem that involves your child being injured then you need to be very careful. I dealt with constant defensiveness from center #3 and we should have left much sooner. Constant support and swift action when it comes to the 'big stuff' is what you should see.
5. Look for a bond to form between your child and thier caregivers. Your child's teachers should be able to recognize your child's abilities and point out their strengths to you. Your child and their caregiver should both be genuinely excited to spend time together. This doesn't mean that your child won't cry when you leave or that they won't prefer you, especially if they only attend part-time.

Finally ...

Realize and accept that just like any other close relationship you will have to comprimise. I had decided early on that I would be supportive of Ava's school schedule at home and that I would do everything I could to be supportive of her teachers' situation of having to provide care for so many children at once. I didn't realize how much comprimising I would have to do. Childcare is one of those 'choose your battles' situations. You can't nitpick every little thing or honestly the things that are really important will start to be minimized. For example, when Ava was an infant I started to notice that my feeding rules were really being bended. As a first time mom I was really sensitive about what Ava was being fed as an infant. She was being given food that I didn't bring for her or that I hadn't tried out with her at home first. Instead of getting upset I decided just to spend more time in the class observing the dynamics. The truth is that babies are very aware of each other once they reach a certain age and what was happening was that Ava was crying for the food and snack that other children had so instead of denying her and letting her cry the teacher's would give her some to try as well. She would also refuse her food if another baby had something she liked better. Another example of this would be that I have had to accept that sometimes even great teachers are going to miss things or have an off-day. I have had times even in centers #1 and #4 where I went to pick up Ava and she was fussy and the other children seemed fussy and the teacher seemed disconnected. As long as situations like these don't become a regular pattern and there isn't a safety issue I try really hard to ignore randomly lowered standards...even though it is really hard!

Some Maternity and Family Photos

Here are some awesome pictures of our family taken by BlueRayne Photography during the last week of August.

 Enjoy!

Can I just add here how proud I am that there are no photos of me all nakedish and pregnant with strategically placed props or pieces of fabric? What about you are there some wall portraits of you with a sheet draped over your naughty parts hanging in your house?

Letter to Lilly

Hello blog world - just got back from a fun work conference. I spoke at a session and it went very well and I left tired but inspired - which is what you are looking for at a work conference! It was only my second time away from Ava overnight and the last time was actually at the same conference last year. I REALLY missed her and it was very nice to come home tonight because she missed me too ;) 

I am almost 36 weeks and still doing very well. Below is a letter I wrote to Lilly a few weeks ago and some photos from some of our Doctor's appointments. 

(photo taken by Ava 8/9/10 at one of Lilly's appointments)

My journal note written to Lilly at 33 weeks on 9/6/10

When I was pregnant with Ava her placenta or something ... can't quite remember but was 'in front' and so I was told that I couldn't feel her move that much because of that. I never 'saw' her move that I can recall. I remember watching my niece in my sister in law's belly and seeing clearly her little heel brush against her belly just while sitting next to her at Christmas and it was really amazing. Well tonight your dad and I sat and watched you move for the longest time. I know exactly where your head is and can touch it. I know where your feet are and how long you are. You move a lot but (knock on wood) no feet in my ribs for long periods of time or anything like that just wakeful times and peaceful dreaming times.  

(photo taken on 8/9/10 at one of Lilly's appointments)

I can't help but think about your sister a lot right now and the dynamics of having two children at such a dear age - newborn and 27 months - that both need so much attention and devotion but in such different ways. I can't imagine many things worse than either of you ever feeling jealous or slighted in some way.

Ava is very excited about you. She wants me to 'give her some lillys' all the time so she can rock you, sing to you "rock-a-bye baby", give you a "paci" or your "baba", etc. She did today though "drop lilly on floor" at the store, which is the first time she has been rough with imaginary you ;) She got some more of you though and gave you lots of kisses to make you feel better. I think as long as you show very little interest in her toys until she is closer to three she will love you devotedly. We talk often about taking care of you together. 

I think about both of you possibly having your own children one day - having your first and then your second and how different those experiences are. But also how much a part of life they are. What seems so huge and daunting to me is just a nothing in the big scheme of things. 

(photo taken on 8/9/10 at one of Lilly's appointments)

So ready or not Lilly Emma I can't wait to hold you, even though as I type this you are already very much around and with us. And Ava assures me that she is very sorry for dropping (aghem throwing) you on the floor out of the shopping cart today in JoAnn's Fabric - but don't worry I won't let her hold you unattended for real just in case she really isn't ;)

Love You, Mama

What to wear in your third trimester

I have been thinking quite a bit about what to wear since I am definitely showing now! (Post HERE from when I was not showing.) First of all I get in a real slump during the third trimester, I feel chubby and hungry - not a great combo. It is hard also for me to purchase maternity clothing knowing that really I will only be buying it to wear for 2.5 months and there is a chance that what I buy now won't even work by October. So here is what I am wearing in my 3rd trimester.

1. Borrowed pants and shorts! Thanks to my friend Michelle who sent me tons of shorts and pants. I was getting to the point where I was going to have to break down and buy a couple of things until her box came ;) Some people actually buy maternity clothes - find those people - ask them to let you borrow their pants!

(photo - cardigan from tjmax non-maternity; layered one med. and one large white camis from old navy - I got them during their $2 cami sale the last weekend of July; borrowed crop jeans ;)

2. Cardigans: I still wear all of my medium sized cardigans from pre-pregnancy and most with regular tanks under them just a larger size than I would usually wear. I can wear light-weight cardigans in Florida all year so buying extra right now really is a good investment. H&M has the cutest sleeveless ones that look really nice over the right layered top. I can't find the links to them online but I am sure you have seen them everywhere!

3. Layered tank tops and thin t-shirts: Just need some larger ones over your pre-maternity ones. Very good for keeping everything smooth.

4. The right black skirt and black pants for the season and where you live. I think even stay at home mom's need a cute pair of black pants and a skirt but these are absolute musts if you work. I can make lots of different pre-pregnancy tops work still at this point and I have no problem with wearing the same pants and skirts with different tops over and over. This black cotton skirt from NY&Co is absolutely fabulous - I bought it in a large and just don't fold the top down.

(photo: maxi dress and cardigan from New York Co.)

5. Maxi Dress: These may or may not be uber flattering but I can still wear all of my maxi dresses in the same size as pre-maternity so I feel like they are a good investment. With the right cardigan they are perfect for my work. 

6. Assets Marvelous Mama Unbelievable Underwear.  No, no not for everyday but if you have portraits or a special occasion where you have to wear some of your stretchy, clingy, maternity gear you'll want to be smooth and these are much more comfy than typical spanx. Did I mention yet that being 'smooth' looking is my number one goal at this point? Even if you are being basically conservative with your diet and not laying around all day, you still have only so much control over how big you are going to get during pregnancy. The weather, water retention, genetics and swelling are all things you can only have so much sway over. But anyone can look basically smooth with the right underwear and layers. Oh and at my local Target all Assets Maternity are on clearance for 50% off!

Worth Sharing 1

Here are some links I have been meaning to share!

* This is definitely the cutest slideshow ever (found it via designmom). I am now certainly convinced that Ava needs a cute handmade doll for her two year old portraits.

* I have been looking at lots of kids art for Lilly's room. Like, Rachelle Anne Miller Prints - so sweet - kind of a combination of Etsy and Strawberry Shortcake. I also like Trafalgars Square and they are having a very good sale right now. Then Sarah Jane Studios has the cutest little 1930's inspired prints. RKdsign has the sweetest things but I think it really bugs me that none of the kids have mouths.

* These Alouette earrings are so cute and would make the perfect gift for a pregnant lady. And at $18 what a steal.

* Look at this SUPER fun maternity photo shoot my friend had done...what is more amazing how adorable and beautiful the look or that they agreed to wear swimsuits for a maternity photo shoot!

* I have a favorite eyeshadow combination - I was wearing it in this photoshoot - it is Clinique's Color Surge Eyeshadow in Beach / Plum. Why am I telling you this? Because I am out of it! I can't remember ever using up all of an eyeshadow before but the colors and coverage of this are great! Don't you always see eye makeup you like all the time and want to know what people are doing?

* I love this new wooden wedding cake from Melissa & Doug ... I am seeing it in Ava's play kitchen future.

* This Earth Mama body butter is the best I have had in a long time - I need more!

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,
This week my husband asked me if I had 'quit the blog' - and I was of course very annoyed. Truthfully though, it has been a while but I am right at the start of my third trimester now and geez I am feeling pregnant! Plus can you even believe it that 20 people are coming JUST from out of town for Ava's second birthday next week! So, needless to say lots of gearing up for that. Our first visitors will arrive in town tomorrow! Ava is so sweet and I am by far her most favorite person on earth, she constantly says that everything in the house 'needs its mommy' and she showers me with hugs and kisses and lets me hold her forever - which really helps ya know when she is being very, very TWO.

But I do have some great posts that I have saved up and lets just ignore for the next couple of months the fact that my grammar might not be sparkling or that I might not have great pictures or if I make three posts in one day and none for 8 days after - o.k.? Otherwise I might never post again until Lilly is like 6 months old and no one wants that right!

Love, Christina

p.s. Did I mention I actually work too at a great but crazy job? Oh o.k. just clearing that up!

p.s.s. How often does my striving for perfect keep me from doing something good...hmmm...way too deep for the third trimester.

Local "Travel" - Volusia County's Green Springs

Do you know what I am remembering about being pregnant?? Umm how tired it makes you - last night I put Ava to bed opened the laptop to make a previously written blog post live and promptly fell asleep at 8:30p.m. My husband came home about an hour later and made me go to bed.

So here we go - I have a whole week of posts coming your way (some already finished!) about summer travel - both local and national.

This first one really isn't going to apply to you if you don't live in Central Florida. EXCEPT that it might get you thinking about looking at your county & city's websites to shuffle through and find some similar places. Oh and I consider a day out exploring your city or county very much 'travel' - you just get to sleep at home ;)

Green Springs

We have this really awesome tax where I live called ECHO. That's right an awesome tax! Everyone who owns a home pays a tiny amount - don't even notice it. And in exchange the county, any city in the county, or not for profit organization can apply for money as long as they can come up with a three to one match. We have awesome cultural attractions, amazing parks, trails and more because of this program. I am telling you all this because every county should have this program.

Anyway most city or county recreation areas are all kind of word of mouth I think or you really have to hunt them down - probably true in most places due to lack of funding for staff & promotion.

This weekend we visited GREEN SPRINGS one of Florida's few Green Sulfur Springs - here is the web description - great history on their site but not much else enticing you to visit. For you locals it is basically in Debary on Enterprise / Osteen Road.

So if I was going to make a pitch for Green Springs it would sound something like - First it is FREE! There are 36 acres of shaded, paved trails with water overlooks where you can see the magical looking green springs. I was really happy to find dirt paths where you can get down to the water as well. Best of all there are super nice bathrooms, a huge pavilion, an awesome playground (no playground photos due to toddler difficulties) and tons of scattered benches and picnic areas. Ava doesn't really like to stop and read text panels (as we have learned during countless museum visits) but we passed quite a few cool ones because like I said the history of this place is very interesting.

(Ava insists on walking about 4 feet behind you at all times)

(you can reserve this cool pavilion for anything you want)

- Coming this week and all done with an infant or toddler - 

San Francisco

Yosemite

Florida Keys

Savannah / Hilton Head Island, Georgia

Is there any hidden place like this in your city or county?

First and Second Trimester Clothes (and for some of us third) - oh and lots of pictures for Michelle ;)

(Pic: At work - blazer, non maternity pencil skirt and top, spanx mat. tights. Almost 15 weeks. Photo by Fauve B. Facial expression for benefit of audience watching the office photo shoot :)

I am in that weird – “did she start beer binging?” stage of pregnancy – ya know (or maybe you don’t) the place where you are using hair ties to button most of your pants but the only dead giveaway “I’m pregnant” outfit you have is MAYBE your form fitting high-waisted pencil skirt – and really you just don’t feel like wearing it. Even in my swimsuit it looks like I have that little beer belly you see so many college girls sporting these days.

With Ava, I stayed in this place until about 2.5 months before my due date – even after “the summer swelling” had set in and I couldn’t wear my rings anymore people were still surprised I was pregnant. While I have started to show earlier this time my frame, height and really average weight probably have a lot to do with why people can’t tell I am pregnant at 15 weeks with #2.

I am not really a fan of the Bella Band things – they just create more layers and they bunch up and are itchy – hand me the next size of pants and a stretchy hair band any day!

(Pic: Jacket closed you can tell a little more right?!?)

This is what I wear during this part of pregnancy aka almost my entire pregnancy :

Assets / Spanx Maternity Tights and other maternity products – Do yourself a favor don’t buy the ones from motherhood just pay the $10 more and get a pair of Assets – they will last your entire pregnancy and they do everything for you that regular Spanx / Assets do but they are just comfy and stretchy and nice! Got my last pair at Target.

Dresses – I wear lots of dresses anyway. I have never purchased a maternity dress most of the styles available will accommodate a pregnant belly. Wrap dresses are a great investment because you can wear them pre-baby through your whole pregnancy and after. Plus once you really start to show they look so cute tied above your ‘bump’ (hate that word). Converse is making some wrap dresses sold here and at Target. 

Capri tights – I am a big fan of Capri tights under your dresses during pregnancy. I find myself wanting some support and streamlining the further along I get. I have these and these from motherhood. The cotton ones have that secret fit belly which I really like…too bad most of the time it is attached to something I hate there…

The next size up in low rise pants,  shorts or skirts

Nice, thick, supportive tank tops that are long enough to cover your unbuttoned pants. Some nursing ones you can wear through almost your entire pregnancy and then after as well if you get them the right size. I have these from Target but there are hundreds of other options. 

(Pic: Getting ready to go to farmer's market / park - nice roomy cotton dress. 12 weeks. I don't know why my husband took this but he did - so presenting our bathroom ;)

(Pic: Another dress in the Keys in front of the 7-mile bridge. 14 weeks. Can you tell how much I am trying to look pregnant?)

A long but juicy post - pregnancy, paranormal, life, sleeping, forgiveness etc.

I love this blog. It is really fun and thanks to everyone for all your emails of encouragement! I am glad that now that a few things are 'out' and settled I can get back to work here ;) And since I haven't posted in TEN days - well this is about 4 posts in 1!

1. I am pregnant - 14.5 weeks and due 10/25! I know the vast majority of you already know this from Facebook this week (thanks for all the nice comments!) or you have known since the day the stick told me but for the few of you who only know me through the blog there it is! We are over the moon and as my doctor said when I delivered Ava "I am made for  making babies" so what I have experienced so far I would describe as a tiring but easy pregnancy, even easier than with Ava who will be two years and three months old at the birth of #2 (since I know you are all trying to do the math). It has been hard having such a big secret 'from the blog' because it is so on my mind and being restricted from writing about it makes writing hard!

2. Because a lot of you have asked for this update - we let Ava just sleep with us through this whole scared of my room biz and then we went on vacation after that so when we got back we put her new bed up in her new room (the old guest room). She seems to like it and doesn't seem scared to lay down alone but now she (of course) is getting 4 new teeth and so around 2am the past two nights she has started all kinds of wakeful crying and wanting us to lay with her, etc. etc. Which since we got her a super nice full size mattress isn't really that bad and it is SO wonderful that one person gets a break when there is night trouble. I actually think this will be a huge bonus when #2 comes along in October. I am definitely more of a scoop you to my bed person than a rock you for an hour person at 2am and I don't want Ava AND a baby in our bed!

(Ava in her new bed yelling at me because she is mad I am not reading to her)

3. We have been in a really terrible court battle for almost a year - we did nothing wrong, according to two courts - but that didn't stop us from a lot of lost nights of sleep and money! Well the last trial was this week and we won again! The other party can still continue to pursue us or our insurance company but it is doubtful we will see a court room again. We haven't talked about this situation to more than a handful of people, I honestly didn't have the energy to tell more people than I had to. I thought I would feel a huge relief this week but it was so terrible and draining to go through and be confronted with that I think it will take some time to feel anything but just glad I don't have to think about how I feel about it anymore! It was a really terrible thing that happened to us but from the second it happened I felt like things just fell right into line for us. In the words on a close friend 'this may be the hardest thing Joe and I ever have to go through and if so we should learn our lessons and feel blessed by the outcome'. Even though we are not feeling totally 'blessed' just yet, we are trying to process some forgiveness and get some lasting peace about it all of which I am sure will come.

4. O.K. on to something exciting and controversial...so remember the paranormal post - which btw was written a little tongue and cheek BUT as factual and with as little evaluation on my part as possible ;)

O.K. so you know about my iPhone, right... well, there is this app that tracks paranormal activity and it is free and we had a long drive back from vacation last week sooo alas I downloaded it to my phone...BREAK here to explain something to you that you need to know before reading the rest of the post - we have some photos of dead relatives from around the turn of the century. The one above is of my grandfather's older brother 'Charles' that died when he was about 5 and my grandfather was about 3. This is the only photo I know of that exists of Charles and my grandparents gave it to Joe and I when they moved a couple of years ago. This always hung in my great grandmother's home and it reminds me of her. When we were cleaning out the guest room for Ava I took it down and hung it on a doorknob in the hallway outside of Ava's room. This was about a week before all the 'girl' talk started. And yes without 'evaluation' I can agree Charles looks very much like a girl here and is about the same age as Ava... Alright back to the story, so when we got home my husband was playing with the phone saw the ghost tracker app, turned it on and was walking through our house with it - just being a guy really. And seriously the first word it says AS HE PASSES THE PHOTO is 'Charles'...not even joking. After that we turned it off. So there you go people - without evaluation that is exactly what happened.