Friday, September 24, 2010

Letter to Lilly

Hello blog world - just got back from a fun work conference. I spoke at a session and it went very well and I left tired but inspired - which is what you are looking for at a work conference! It was only my second time away from Ava overnight and the last time was actually at the same conference last year. I REALLY missed her and it was very nice to come home tonight because she missed me too ;) 

I am almost 36 weeks and still doing very well. Below is a letter I wrote to Lilly a few weeks ago and some photos from some of our Doctor's appointments. 

(photo taken by Ava 8/9/10 at one of Lilly's appointments)

My journal note written to Lilly at 33 weeks on 9/6/10

When I was pregnant with Ava her placenta or something ... can't quite remember but was 'in front' and so I was told that I couldn't feel her move that much because of that. I never 'saw' her move that I can recall. I remember watching my niece in my sister in law's belly and seeing clearly her little heel brush against her belly just while sitting next to her at Christmas and it was really amazing. Well tonight your dad and I sat and watched you move for the longest time. I know exactly where your head is and can touch it. I know where your feet are and how long you are. You move a lot but (knock on wood) no feet in my ribs for long periods of time or anything like that just wakeful times and peaceful dreaming times.  

(photo taken on 8/9/10 at one of Lilly's appointments)

I can't help but think about your sister a lot right now and the dynamics of having two children at such a dear age - newborn and 27 months - that both need so much attention and devotion but in such different ways. I can't imagine many things worse than either of you ever feeling jealous or slighted in some way.

Ava is very excited about you. She wants me to 'give her some lillys' all the time so she can rock you, sing to you "rock-a-bye baby", give you a "paci" or your "baba", etc. She did today though "drop lilly on floor" at the store, which is the first time she has been rough with imaginary you ;) She got some more of you though and gave you lots of kisses to make you feel better. I think as long as you show very little interest in her toys until she is closer to three she will love you devotedly. We talk often about taking care of you together. 

I think about both of you possibly having your own children one day - having your first and then your second and how different those experiences are. But also how much a part of life they are. What seems so huge and daunting to me is just a nothing in the big scheme of things. 

(photo taken on 8/9/10 at one of Lilly's appointments)

So ready or not Lilly Emma I can't wait to hold you, even though as I type this you are already very much around and with us. And Ava assures me that she is very sorry for dropping (aghem throwing) you on the floor out of the shopping cart today in JoAnn's Fabric - but don't worry I won't let her hold you unattended for real just in case she really isn't ;)

Love You, Mama

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